i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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