I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
