The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
