he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
