if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
