After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
