I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
