Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
