I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she pinky promised me she was 18
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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