lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize