Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
