It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sorry my hands just texted you
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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