just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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