Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
