Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
