did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Randomize
