I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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