idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
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