The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
