he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize