ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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