just tell him i said nine months
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
