I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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