so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
