So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
