How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
