their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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