i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
