Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
