god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
