i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Randomize
