what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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