One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
