some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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