Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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