I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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