a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
