Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
