Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
