The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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