meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
