Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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