i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
