I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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