I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
