A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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