Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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