i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
