Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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