Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
