big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
