cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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