wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize