dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
