she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
