I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
