Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I love you.
Bad choice
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
