He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize