Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Sorry about my life...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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