Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
