the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
