Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
