I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
