David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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