Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
